Somewhere
by kaleidoscopexluv
Summary: "That idiot. It felt like a lifetime since he had left. Even though it had only been a couple weeks." A story about how Max deals with Fang leaving and how she learns to keep moving on with her life.


Author's Note: I wrote this story after I read _Fang_ this summer. I was so upset when Fang left! All I could think was, "I was wonder how Max feels." So basically I wrote this because I felt like I needed to give Max a voice about how she felt after Fang left and how she ended up moving on with her life. I don't know if James Patterson is planning on doing something like this, but if he did write about Max after Fang left, I think it would go something like this.

This is my first time actually posting a fanfic on but I have been reading and writing fanfics for years, so feel free to comment/review! :)

Also I do not own the Maximum Ride characters, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" or the "underdog show choir" aka Glee!

**_Somewhere_**

"_I hope you'll forgive me someday for turning our worlds into shades of gray – at least for a little while."_

That idiot. It felt like a lifetime since he had left. Even though it had only been a couple weeks.

I pushed away the laptop with a sigh and rolled over on my back. I had already watched just about every interesting video on Hulu. That's what happens when you spend 23 hours a day online watching pointless videos that will hopefully soften the constant pain that is your life. I reserved 1 hour, of course, for some restless equivalent to sleep. I hadn't had a decent meal or night's sleep since Fang had flown off to be some stupid knight with shining wings.

The images rose back to the surface – pictures of Fang flying in front of me with that gorgeous black hair flapping haphazardly all around and that rare grin that I enjoyed glimpsing.

Oh god. Here come the tears. I rubbed my eyes with frustration. I was _so_tired of crying. I wanted to be happy again. I really did. Mom kept trying to cheer me up, get me out of bed. But I just couldn't seem to move past these shades of gray despair that kept pulling me back to my bed. I hadn't flown since the day he left.

With my thoughts on flying, my head subconsciously lolled to the side so I could stare outside. The sky was a perfect powder blue. There weren't even any clouds to obstruct the view. Out of nowhere though, Gazzy and Angel zoomed past my window. Nudge was hot on their tails with a hose hitting them on full blast. I managed a small smile as I heard their muffled laughter. I was glad they were having fun again. We had all gone through our own version of grieving. Everyone else got better…except me.

As I continued to watch, Nudge shot the hose up in the air where it caught the sunlight and reflected a giant rainbow. Angel squealed with delight. That rainbow, however, reminded me of something.

I had watched a lot of different series on Hulu in my weeks of depression. However, there was one show that I found particularly amusing. It was all about this underdog show choir and they always broke into songs to express their feelings, usually in a way that wasn't_too_ creepy though. On the last episode, the choir's teacher and one of his students played this really pretty song, with a ukulele and everything. I'm pretty sure it's called "Somewhere over the Rainbow" since that's the line they kept repeating. The part that I really remember went like this:

"_Oh someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops. High above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me. Oh somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why can't I?"_

Wow. I had never really paid attention to those words the first time I heard them. But now, I could see how creepily those words applied to my life. If I could just get past this dark place where my troubles constantly haunt me, or if I could just get my strength back and find some reason to move on, I would. Plus the song talks about birds. And I mean, honestly, how many avian-humans do you know where this song could apply? 'Cause personally I only know of Dylan and the 6 of us that make up The Flock. Although I guess…we're only 5 now since…

I heaved a sigh and threw my arms dramatically over my eyes. I wish _I_ could wish on a star and everything would just turn out dandy. Why can't I get up? Why can't I find a reason important enough to keep going just because one meaningless guy is out of my life? How is it possible that one person in our lives has so much control over us that our entire day is either crap or wonderful depending on them? I guess that's because he's not meaningless…not to me. I was in love with him, and I guess I still am.

"What about saving the world?"

That was the first time my "Voice" had spoken up in weeks. It had been completely silent since Fang's disappearance.

"You know that really isn't as compelling of a motive as you might think," I said out loud. Yeah, I know it's crazy that I was talking out loud to a voice that I'm pretty much positive comes from inside me, but I was past the point of caring. "Besides how do you expect to save the _entire world_ without the strongest guy I know? He's the only person on this planet who knows how to be my right-hand man. I can't do it all by myself. I'm just a 15 year old girl." I was ignoring the fact that I'm technically a 15 year old girl with genetically infused powers because right then I definitely didn't feel like one.

"What about Dylan and the rest of your Flock? Are you so far gone in your selfish depression that even they don't matter?" the Voice replied.

"Ouch, way to punch a girl while she's down," I mumbled. "Don't get me wrong. The Flock is great and everything, even Dylan isn't so bad anymore, but none of them are him."

"Well let's get one thing straight," the Voice continued, "Maybe right now your state is keeping you from caring about the rest of the world. You have no problem lying in bed for the next 5 years watching the world fall apart without you. You could care less if millions of people die as you merely watch out your window. But as you watch all those unknown people die, remember that the people you _do_ love will be dying too. Your mom, Ella, and even The Flock will die without you. Max, if you don't get up and start living out your destiny, Fang_will_ die. Fang is an incredibly strong being, but without you playing your part, he's nothing. Is that what you want?"

It felt like I had been punched by an invisible force in my gut. How could I let myself forget something so important? Had my depression really been so deep that I had forgotten everyone I cared about? All those times when I thought about saving the world, I really had just seen the nameless faces all over the world with which I had no personal connection. I guess I had never made the association before that if I didn't save _them_then my family and friends would die too. This bothered me so much that I sat up without realizing it. I felt my blood start to run a little faster – my adrenaline was kicking back in. My whole body felt fuller and lighter than it had in weeks. My vision was brighter and all those weeks of being penned up in my bedroom finally started to get to me.

"Alright," I spoke up one last time, "you've got me listening. Now what?"

But the Voice didn't have to speak up again, because I already knew the answer. I leaped up on my bed and threw open the window. The Flock stopped playing and just stared. I offered a smile and their eyes just got wider. Nudge, in fact, was so shocked that she dropped the hose. It looped around and the water stream once again hit the sunlight, creating one final rainbow before it hit the ground. My smile grew wider as the song started playing in my head again.

Turning my eyes back to my family, I gave a final smile. "Don't worry. I'm just going for a fly. Be back later." I didn't want them to think I was running away after all. Because for the first time in a long time, I was ready to do something, with a fire that I forgot I had. So, maybe flying over this rainbow wouldn't make my troubles "melt like lemon drops", but for now it was a stepping stone on my way to becoming alive again and finally accepting my destiny for good.


End file.
